All 3. 1 Video- Game Movies, Ranked From Least Bad to Absolute Worst. Here’s the thing: If you see a movie based on a video game and expect it to be objectively good, then you’re the only one to blame for your disappointment. It’s like playing a carnival game called “Face Punches” and demanding your money back because you got punched in the face. In the 2. 3 years since the release of the first video- game movie, Super Mario Bros., there has never been, critically speaking, a good entry in the genre — a trend that continues with the critical and financial tank job that was Assassin’s Creed. The best and largest selection of PC game cheats, PC game codes, PC game cheat codes, PC cheatcodes, PC passwords, PC hints, PC tips, PC tricks, PC strategy guides. Imagery from NASA’s Solar Terrestrial Relations Observatory (STEREO) and Solar Dynamics Observatory (SDO) was used by scientists to find proof of the waves on the Sun. Having once made the statement above, I have declined all opportunities to enlarge upon it or defend it. That seemed to be a fool's errand, especially given the. It’s clearly time, then, to stop judging video- game movies the way we judge other movies, and instead start weighing them exclusively against their peers. Street Fighter is always going to suffer in comparison to, say, Die Hard, but if you look at it in the context of similar movies, it starts to looks pretty impressive. And, hey, that’s something! So here’s every video- game movie ranked according to its place in the video- game movie canon, starting with the reasonably palatable and working down to the most absolutely unwatchable. First, some explanation: Entries had to be live action, meaning no Angry Birds, and while Blood. Rayne is on this list, Blood. Rayne: Deliverance and Blood. Rayne: The Third Reich had little to do with the source material so they were left out of the rankings. Our regrets to any staunch defenders of those two titles. Mortal Kombat (1. It might not be the first video- game movie, but Mortal Kombat is the apex of the form, because the premise is almost impossible to screw up if you just go all in: A bunch of fighters convene in an otherworldly location and battle for the fate of the world. It doesn’t have to be more complicated than that. If you grew up either kicking ass or just button mashing your way through Kombat on Super Nintendo, seeing Scorpion and Sub- Zero and Goro come to life onscreen was thrilling, and it turns out that Cary- Hiroyuki Tagawa was born to say “Flawless victory.” Though it sounds a bit like a backhanded compliment, Kombat is the gold standard of video- game movies. Super Mario Bros. If Terry Gilliam had directed a video- game movie, this would be it. The score is by Alan Silvestri and the movie stars Bob Hoskins, John Leguizamo, Dennis Hopper, Fisher Stevens, and Fiona Shaw, with Samantha Mathis as Princess Daisy. It’s less a film than it is big- screen video- game performance art. Street Fighter (1. The silly, campy Street Fighter didn’t try to be any more than it was, which was a movie based on a game where you just fought people, and it features a final battle between Jean- Claude Van Damme and Raul Julia in his final theatrical film role. It also had era- appropriate stars like Kylie Minogue and Damian Chapa. Video- game movies go wrong when they try to do too much, and Street Fighter did just enough as a peak JCVD martial- arts movie. Doom (2. 00. 5)Doom is one of those glorious video- game movies that wears its origins right on its tactical sleeve, transitioning at one point into full fist- person- shooter mode. It’s also got space marines who think they are investigating suspicious events at a boring old research facility on Mars, but who end up having to fight hordes of genetically enhanced people monsters (a staple video- game villain). The biggest thing Doom has going for it, though, is its two male leads: the Rock and Karl Urban. Urban can’t help but exude get- it- done charisma and the Rock is, well, the goddamn Rock, making a rare turn as an amped- up supervillain. Also take note of Rosamund Pike as one of the space scientists. It’s so fun when bad movies happen to good actors. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2. The first Tomb Raider may not have been great, but it is the closest a big- budget video- game movie has come to working.
Director Simon West has also brought to life such staples as Con Air, The General’s Daughter, and The Expendables 2, and this movie is about as good as all those. Where Tomb Raider succeeds, though, is in the performances of Angelina Jolie and Daniel Craig before they were old enough to be self- conscious about making a video- game movie. It’s rare for a female lead in one of these movies to be memorable, but Jolie managed to be entirely compelling — dripping with all that sultry Jolie charm — despite being saddled with those comically large video- game- style breasts. Far Cry (2. 00. 8)This placement might be controversial, but Far Cry is really the best of what Uwe Boll has to offer in the video- game genre. Far Cry is hilariously low- budget — like any self- respecting Boll project — but it doesn’t seem to be taking any of it seriously. Til Schweiger plays a sardonic whale- tourism boat captain (and former elite military operative, obviously) who gets roped into taking down a clandestine organization that’s building the perfect super- soldier through genetic experiments. It’s no coincidence that Boll’s best video- game movie is also the one with the most Udo Kier, playing a mad scientist who whisper- hisses all his lines. Far Cry is funny, and intentionally so, which makes it a rare entry in this genre that truly embraces the absurdity of the task at hand, and then gleefully pushes it a little farther. It’s so unwatchable it becomes watchable again. Resident Evil: Extinction (2. Of the five existing Resident Evil movies (a sixth is on the way), Extinction is perhaps the most recognizable, thanks to that scene where Project Alice (Milla Jovovich) turns a sky filled with zombie crows into a gargantuan, swirling halo of fire. The post- apocalyptic environment looks good on Jovovich, and watching Alice exercise her heightened telekinetic abilities is a nice switch from just seeing a whole lot of guns. One thing about the Resident Evil movies is that they don’t want for women kicking ass. Sure, Jovovich wakes up naked at the start of literally every movie, but Paul W. S. Anderson never sexualizes his female characters, and they never have to be rescued by more capable men. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2. A Dungeon Siege Tale, which is what happens when Uwe Boll gets the budget of his dreams. Jason Statham plays Farmer, a man who must save his kidnapped wife and avenge the death of his son at the hands of a race of animal warriors called Krugs. What’s not to love? It’s also got one of those video- game movie dream casts: Lee. Lee Sobieski, John Rhys- Davies, Claire Forlani, Kristanna Loken, Matthew Lillard, Ray Liotta, and even Burt Reynolds. It’s one of those movies you watch and just go, “How?!” the entire time, and for that, it is a lot of fun. Resident Evil (2. Paul W. S. Anderson’s first entry into the longest- running video- game film franchise is understated by comparison to its four sequels. Alice only discovers she’s a weaponized fighting machine about halfway through the movie, which means we spend a lot of time with her just being afraid while her companions try to shoot their way out of the evil Umbrella Corporation’s underground bio- testing facility, the Hive. What it lacks in martial- arts Milla, though, it makes up for in Michelle Rodriguez (the true queen of the genre) sneering her way through scenes while she shoots a big gun. The first Resident Evil brings a little more story than the rest of the franchise, which stick closer to the boss- to- boss format found in gameplay. It’s almost a thinking man’s video- game movie! Double Dragon (1. This is one of those early- era gems from a time when studios put enough money behind video- game movies to make them look kind of cool (in a kitschy way), without going overboard and turning them into spectacles like they do now (side- eyeing you, Assassin’s Creed and Warcraft). Critically speaking, every movie on this list is terrible, which means that to be the best of the worst you need to entertain the audience. Double Dragon opens with a news sequence featuring George Hamilton and Vanna White as news anchors working with Andy Dick as a meteorologist. There’s a self- awareness to making such B- list talent the face of a tacky news broadcast in a dystopic vision of the future that feels endearing. If you can’t be a good movie, at least be tongue- in- cheek about your circumstances and let the characters have a good time. Besides, Robert Patrick plays the bad guy, and who was a better bad guy in the early ? This movie is so corny it’s almost impossible to stay mad at. Blood. Rayne (2. 00. Guess what? It’s Uwe Boll again, and he’s got a cast of genre legends in tow for Blood. Rayne. Kristanna Loken, Michael Madsen, Ben Kingsley, Billy Zane, and most importantly, Michelle Rodriguez star in this humans versus vampires historical romp. Everything about Blood. Rayne is over the top. The acting, the costumes, M. Rod’s occasional British accent — it’s the exact level of prestige and resources that should be devoted to a movie based on a hack- and- slash video game about killing vampires. This is unmissable absurdity. Max Payne (2. 00. There were two movies that came out in 2. Sin City, and they were Max Payne and The Spirit. Where Spirit tried to sell its stylized adventure on the back of Gabriel Macht, though, Max Payne had Mark Wahlberg, and that gives it a leg up in the frivolous action- movie genre. Wahlberg is a New York City cop whose family is killed by assassins, and he partners with a killer played by Mila Kunis, who is avenging the death of her sister (hello again, Olga Kurylenko!). Naturally, they have to take down the mob, an evil corporation, and eliminate police corruption to win the day. At one point Wahlberg even pumps himself full of a new street drug to prevent himself from dying of hypothermia, which sets him on a video- game- style superhuman berserker rampage — all in stunning black and white! Resident Evil: Apocalypse (2. PC Games, Reviews, News, Previews, Demos, Mods & Patches. By Taylor Cocke ? How about Star. Craft Universe? If you remember one of those, you remember them both, because they're the same game, just renamed after some legal disputes with Blizzard. Even if you don't, you may be excited to know that an early version of the . Read More »By Taylor Cocke . I remember my history classes, and that never ends well. There's way too many people there, it's way too cold, and my Napoleonic- era soldiers aren't anywhere near ready for that sort of fight. I think I'll go ahead and let them do their own thing while I take the rest of Europe. Read More »By Mike Sharkey . Still, I can't help but salivate over the new card Nvidia says it designed for . Blizzard unexpectedly canceled its annual show last year to focus on actually making games, much to the chagrin of purple- painted night elves everywhere. The convention hiatus will end in November when Blizzard opens the doors to the Anaheim Convention Center for the seventh Blizz. Con. Read More »By Matthew Rorie . Gameplay is more robust and varied, the storytelling is more mature, and it's often visually stunning. Unfortunately, it's also not very ambitious: it leans heavily on ideas already established by better games, and as such isn't an especially remarkable experience. Its reach might exceed its grasp in a few key areas, but Crysis 3 is still a largely enjoyable excuse to take a trip to post- apocalyptic New York. Keep up, don't block doorways, and throw out the occasional one- liner is about the best we can hope for. Irrational Games will attempt to raise the co- op AI bar with its time- and- space- tearing partner, Elizabeth, in Bio. Shock Infinite, and as the latest trailer demonstrates, she will, at the very least, pack a powerful punch. I really like the sense of constant danger their presence provides. It seems that others feel the same way, as Ubisoft is implementing a patch that will allow us to reset every last one of them, a feature apparently requested heavily by players. Oh, and there's some other stuff too. Read More »By Taylor Cocke . We've got Chivalry: Medieval Warfare, War of the Roses, and now Blade Symphony, as spotted by Rock Paper Shotgun. While the former two are first- person . That means flips, dives, and flying slashes. Soon, all that goodness will be on Steam. I'll cut out the middle of the story, but the result of the lesson is my ability to wait until games are on sale before I buy them. This week, GOG. com makes that waiting really pay off, because they're dropping the prices on a ton of classic games like Myst: Masterpiece Edition, The Incredible Machine, and Outcast. Read More »By Taylor Cocke . We love Day. Z. We appreciate the mod, and think it's pretty great. You really didn't have to go through all this trouble of making the standalone product so darn awesome. The fact that you've been completely remaking the zombie survival shooter from the ground up is completely unnecessary. Oh, you went ahead and did it anyway? Well, you're just the best. Read More »By Katie Williams . Read More »By Katie Williams . We've seen plush feathered headdresses devolve into ankle- tattoos- on- shields and now? People are totally wearing dogs on their heads. Say hello to the Suebi, a tribe so barbaric that they seem a- okay with sauntering into battle shirtless. Read More »By Katie Williams ? Yeah, that's not what I'd have expected to find on the front page of a certain famed torrent website either. Yes, it's a videogame promo for Zelda- esque indie adventure Anodyne, but it's also sort of an interesting remark on the state of videogame piracy. Read More »By Katie Williams . The Minecraft- meets- TF2 concept had such promise, but only managed to scrape up a poor- at- best rating in Game. Spy's review. Will this gangster- themed ? Read More »By Katie Williams ? Grab (or make) some friends, too - - you'll need 'em all for Moth Kidz, a warm fuzzies- inducing indie adventure that explores the power of friendship. Official Play. Station Used Game Instructional Video.
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